Dear friends! It is good to be before you again, it hath been quite a bit since I have last donned these robes, that reek of failure and flatulence, to discuss a grave matter that deserves your ever-present attention.
It would seem that the World likes us...a whole lot....now. Pick your pundit, they are starting to slurp up a healthy dish of Ol' Grandma Fro's (God rest her soul) 49ers are f**king Awesome Stew. They love it. They dip bread in it. And Gods know, the 49ers have been dishing that s**t out each and every f**king week to your NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. Zounds, even former Cowboy players, and I am talking bitter ass rivals, are munching on this goodness. Ask Troy Aikman, who we around these parts appreciate for his humbleness and respectful thoughts about our rivalry with them, has spoken, as of late, glowingly about your FIVE-TIME...wait...
FIVE-TIME SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS OF THE KNOWN, and unknown, UNIVERSE! YOUR SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS of Santa Clara, Cali-forn-i-a!
*weeps*
Please forgive me, friends. I speak only with joy in my heart. But that joy can certainly be victim to the poison pill that comes with pissing off the football Gods. Simply, we have been here before. People have lauded us before. Here I use the collective "us", when I truly mean that the Niners have been here before. They have been great before. Sadly, I say pick your heartbreak, for there are many. I SAID PICK IT!
COMMON FRO ERA (CFE)
2022 Conference Championship2021 Conference Championship
Super Bowl LIV
"The WTF years": 2014-2018
2013 Conference Championship
Super Bowl XLVII
2011 Divisional Round
"The Drought years": 2003-2010
2002 Wild Card
2001 Wild Card
1998 Divisional Round
1997 Conference Championship
1996 Divisional Round
1995 Divisional Round
1993 Conference Championship
1992 Conference Championship
1990 Conference Championship
1987 Divisional Round
1986 Divisional Round
1985 Wild Card
1983 Conference Championship
BEFORE FRO ERA (BFE)
1972 Divisional Round1971 Divisional Round
1970 Conference Championship
1957 Divisional Round/Conference Championship weirdness vs the Lions. Yes, those Lions.
1949 AAFC Championship Game
Let me say this, for all our success, much of it is recent in historical terms. We have had our fair share of heartbreak. But, you might say, "so do other fan bases, Fro. Be an adult about this sort of thing." I say f**k them and go f**king post on their forums.
But what about them? Pfttt. WHAT ABOUT US? THE WORLD IS SLURPING US UP LIKE UNSAVORY PEOPLE--who we will not judge because folks got to make that green; you dig?--IN SOME FILTH-LADEN ALLEY. Have we not paid as fans the ultimate penalty for our foolish arrogance, enough? Must I slaughter chickens--and what has a f**king Chicken done to you? Eh? I mean I went vegetarian-vegan a few years back, but YOU BEST BELIEVE I CAN SLAUGHTER A CHICKEN FOR THE GREATER GOOD. I AM FROM ARKANSAS, Damnit! Where do you think Tyson Chicken comes from? The heavens?--for the cause?
The point is good friends, we, as fans, must remain vigilant. Moored, if you will, to that which matters most. We must ignore the verbal blow jobs being handed out by all as we continue to support the Niners as they destroy the rest of the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. THIS, THIS RIGHT HERE, IS WHAT THE JOURNEY OF OUR FANDOM IS ALL ABOUT: The Quest for Number Six (Yes, I know they have shortened it, but s**t it did not work the last two times. So I threw "number" in there to get the stink off the phrase). Then we, many of us have waited decades to see the Niners hoist the Lombardi Trophy, again can finally rest--and BUY THE s**t OUT OF CHAMPIONSHIP REGALIA FROM FANATICS AT GOD AWFUL PRICES, WHICH MEANS, SOMEBODY IS TAKING OUT A LOAN IN FEBRUARY. BUT WHATEVs; IT IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY.--and hand this thing off to a new era of gangstas (BANG f**kING BANG NINER GANG), Hustlers, and youngsters who have been living amongst us. Who look a little like us, who love the Niners, but don't know why, and that will carry that bag of weight, remorse, but also victory and adulation into the future.
TLDR; Ignore the pundits. We still have a long way to go.
I am Fropwns